Have Been

It has been a week.  One week.  That's seven days.  But that's enough for you.  I know we technically went our ways two months ago,  but I felt like trying.  Just see me when you need me.  For anything.  Food.  Love.  Dates.  Sex.  A place to sleep.  Anything.  But you saw it as an excuse to never see me again.  I don't know if I was too needy or if you really were too busy,  but deep down,  I just don't think you cared.  One week ago,  I told you I was done with all of it.  And now you have a boyfriend. 

For two  months,  I hardly knew you.  You weren't the same woman I loved, the woman I fell for.  You were just some girl  too busy in her own life to be concerned with mine. A girl who worked twenty hours a week with eighteen hours of school and never saw me unless you "needed"  me.  But suddenly,  one week later, you have all the time in the world.  Suddenly I'm not the man you wanted to spend your life with,  I'm no longer mister perfect,  mister sun to your shine.

I'm sure he'll learn soon enough that you aren't all you seem cracked up to be. You won't be the same woman he falls for,  you won't be the same person in two months. You'll do the same as you've done to me.  And the worst part out of all of  this,  was that I was warned.  And I didn't listen.  Because you were different. You made me feel loved when I looked to you.  You made me feel safe and happy when I held you in my arms. Then you changed. 

I always said you were like two different people.  I didn't know how right I was.  For the first month or two,  we were happy.  Any second you had,  you were right here.  Since the minute we met,  you were clamoring to touch me,  to feel me,  to kiss me,  to love me.  You practically begged.  I took a chance like you asked and I really wish I hadn't.  You weren't the same. 

You became distant.  Unreliable.  You wanted nothing to do with me.  You turned on me like a hungry dog and then would immediately  turn around to earn my favor.  You were the complete opposite person than who I fell in love with.  You were aggressive, short tempered, cold,  aggressive. 

Now it's my turn to be angry.  I should have known better.  I should have heeded the warnings.  I guess I can thank you in a way for turning my depression into a furious rage if even for a second in this time. It should never be this easy to replace someone who you claim you cared for so dearly.  I am beyond a caring mood. 

I don't even know the guy.  I don't hate him.  I don't blame him.  I hold nothing to him,  but pity.  He knows not what he is doing.  My friends say I have dodged a bullet,  and honestly,  I am inclined to agree with them.  I just wish it had happened sooner so I could have remembered what it felt like to be something other than barren. 

For once,  I have learned to hate something other than myself for once.  Even if it only lasts for a few hours,  it will feel like an eternity within this.